Self-realization : Why I have not been able to do what all I want to do?

First things first !

I want to do a lot of things, and I mean it. Loads of stuff. I want to be a good competitive programmer, I want to implement my ideas and I have to learn full stack development for that, I want to learn a lot of maths around me, I want to many of the physics concepts that I never understood in my school time, I want to make many science projects, I want to learn to play guitar, to learn about machines, to design, to work on distributed systems, to make contributions to open source, to read research papers, to understand those papers, then to come up with my own ideas, to learn the hell of everything in my computer system, and the list goes on.

Problem?!

I haven't done anything as of yet, and I am nowhere even near to anyone of these.

This should be very clear to anyone who look at my recent posts as all of them have been related to what all problems I am facing when focusing on any particular thing, and all the solutions that I have tried so far.

Solution?!

Yesterday I gave the my last mid-semester paper, and that opened my eyes to the real root of the problem, and what could be done for that.

When I was preparing for this exam, I was procrastinating to such an extent that I started studying for this subject only hours before the exam.

So, why did I stop procrastinating at some point before the exam? Because the exam time was fixed. It could not be delayed. If I had the power to delay it, I would have continued with my procrastination.


Another problem?!

Most of the things I want to do, don't have a fixed deadline. Okay there is one, my death. But I guess I am nowhere serious about it. Maybe I have forgotten that I am a mortal being.

Quick glance!

So, what I have been doing till now to achieve what I want to?!

2 things -

• One, I start with one thing, but after some time I switch to another thing, never to see the face of the previous one most of the times.
• I try to adjust two, three of four things together, making a routine, and all those shitty stuff.

None of them work, and they won't ever.

Time to change the approach.

One good thing that I started doing lately is mark the things that I want to in my phone calendar, and I don't add something like "I will do X in 1 year", but something I can do in a few days.

But because of procrastination, I end up delaying it, just to remove it from my to-do list after some time without even doing it.

So, what I am going to now?!

Here is the list, and I am going to strictly adhere to it. And I mean it.

• Combine the short tasks with short rewards. Complete your small task, and get rewarded. A movie, or an episode from House M.D. works well.
• As a task enters your to-do list, it gets completed no matter what. There is no turning back from now on.

And this is all what I meant when I made this tweet in the morning.

this time i have got the neck of the base problem, wohoo; thanks to mid-sems #solve

— ashwani pandey (@thisisashwani) March 5, 2016

I thought it would be great if I make it clear to myself what I would be up to from now on. This article helped me do that.

Time to reach the sky !